So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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