He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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