he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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