there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
