i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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