i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
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So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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