I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
