I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
