Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
