I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
