so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
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SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
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the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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