I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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