I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
