woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
