Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live