If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
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Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
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drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat