i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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