And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
