idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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