what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
