I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
