Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
