We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
