Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I believe in your delicious
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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