dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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