I smell stomach acid.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
