I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house