butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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