Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Its about making memories worth repressing
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
