i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
