the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
