That's intense
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
