how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
