Kiss
Puke
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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