Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
