The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
