i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
