i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
