i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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