i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
