Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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