This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
