i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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