I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
