evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
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I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
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THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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