I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
