Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
