I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
