I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
