she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
