i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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