The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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