I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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