I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
this will be a night to untag.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
