i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
