Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize