sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
