awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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