So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
