i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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