My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
