so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
