loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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