drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
