Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
