Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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