I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize