Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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