like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
