Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
