well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.