Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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