ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!