If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT