so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
